Kojima Name Generator

Section 1: Determining How Many Names You Have

Kojima often creates characters that have many alternate names, so we must first figure out how many names you will have.

Roll a d6. If you get 1-5, you have 1 name, otherwise you have 1 name plus 6 other alternate names.

Section 2: Personal Information

Kojima's characters have names that are directly related to their own character traits. This information will make sure your name fits your personality.

What is your full name?

What do you do at your occupation? Condense the verb in your answer into a single -er noun. (e.g. if you are a sheep farmer, your answer will be "farmer")

What was your first pet's specific species/breed? If you never had a pet, please answer with an animal you wish you owned.

What's your most embarrassing childhood memory? Be specific. Condense it into two words.

What is the object you'd least like to be stabbed by?

What is something you are good at? (Verb ending in -ing)

How many carrots do you believe you could eat in one sitting, if someone, like, forced you to eat as many carrots as possible?

What is your greatest intangible fear? (e.g. death, loneliness, fear itself)

What is your greatest tangible fear? (e.g. horses)

What is the last thing you did before starting this form?

What condition is your body currently in? (single word answer)

Favorite state of matter?

A word your name kind of sounds like? (e.g. Brian → Brain)

What is your Zodiac sign? Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagittarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces

If you had to define your personality in one word, what would it be?

Section 3: Kojima Information

Kojima character names reflect his own idiosyncrasies. He can't help himself.

Who is your favorite film character? (NOTE: must be played by Kurt Russell)

What is the last word of the title of your favorite Kubric film?

What is the first word of the title of your favorite Joy Division album?

What is a scientific term you picked up from listening to NPR once?

What is a piece of military hardware you think looks cool even though war is bad?

What is something you'd enjoy watching Mads Mikkelsen do? Condense it into one word.

Section 4: Determining Your Name Conditions

Sometimes, a character will have a plot-based condition that affects their name. You, too, might have a condition that affects your name. Conditions can stack.

THE -MAN CONDITION: Roll a d4. If you get 1-3, you do not have this condtion. If you get 4, your last name will include the suffix -man. If your name already has -man at the end of it, I guess you're just going to have -manman at the end of your name.

THE CONDITION CONDITION: Roll a d8. If you get 1-5, you do not have this condition. If you get 6, you're big; your name must have "Big" at the beginning of it. If you get 7, you are older than you once were; your name must have "Old" at the beginning of it. If you get 8, you are how you currently are.

THE CLONE CONDITION: Roll a d12. If you get 1-11, you do not have this condition. If you get 12, you are a clone of someone else, or you have been brainwashed into becoming a mental doppelganger of someone else. Find someone who has completed this form and replace 50% of your Kojima name with 50% of their Kojima name.

THE KOJIMA CONDITION: Roll a d100. If you get 1-68 or 70-100, you do not have this condition. If you get 69, oh no. You are Hideo Kojima. Hideo Kojima created you and is also you. You are the man who created himself and there is nothing you can do about it. You're in Kojima's world—your world—and that's just the breaks, pal. Stop filling in this form now. You're Hideo Kojima. Go do the things that Hideo Kojima does.